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Mimi's Child...Leon: ...And get me some coofwip with that!!
Mimi: Sure, hun <3
(Mimi walks up to her bathroom, arches over the sink, with 42 pregancy tests all lit up green, with a pixelated + on them)
Mimi: Oh holy Ear farting dogaroos...
(mimi walks to the T.V, turns it off and stands tall-ly over leon -seriousfaceplz-)
Leon: Heeeey.... wtf was that for.
(she holds a large pile of pregnancy tests over leons head then drops them on him)
Leon: HOLY CRAP!!! (smell of piss) Oh...Oh....oh..ff..ff.... what are these!? They stink of pee pee.
Mimi:... (she stands over him... arms folded.. toes tapping) Im pregnant...
Mimi: And yes.... its yours...
Leon:-First time i ever got laid... and who knew i'd bang her up first time? Must be my very large shlong...- Thats... really great!!! I cant believe it!! We never even had hardcore yiff!
Mimi: Just focus on the kid, Leon...
Teenage TaoismGiving birth is the closest I’d ever felt to dying.
Before that, my near death experiences had consisted only of my silent announcement of pregnancy—silent, being that my social media accounts were all deleted almost simultaneously and I never returned to school in the fall, saying without really saying that I had caught the malicious disease of “teenage pregnancy”. I’m sure the whisper spread in the hallways like the Bubonic Plague. That September, sitting at home on what would have been the first day of my senior year, I imagined friends I’d never talk to again saying “she was only seventeen, and so full of life!” at my absence in the cafeteria tables, as if they were attending my funeral instead of talking about me behind my back.
"Full of life," I had snorted then, folding a never ending stream of what had once been my own baby clothes. "Literally."
I walked around like a zombie for the months of my pregnancy, deciding t
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